The Coalition Song

After minister of the Crown for Business, the overloading-Cable's electrifying all out, carpet-bombing, nonsensical assault on the fundamental process of wealth creation, the basic tenets of civilised capitalism and, amusingly, all business generally, at the LibDum conference, I was just wondering what should be David Cameron's ironic song of the month. I've come up with this one:


Perhaps others can think of a better one. For myself, the only electricity currently flowing from this unhappy political arrangement is the stuff from the power stations that the lefty enviro-loon Chris Huhne hasn't closed down (yet) and will never replace anyway once he does. Our coalition-compromise lunatic Energy minister has stated categorically that he will not allow new power stations to be built, not just nuclear ones but any type as far as I can see, until George Osborne gives in to his tax reform demands. The tax reforms are actually a pretty good idea if taken in total theoretical isolation. But the fact that mad-Huhne and his insane-professor mentor, Cable, are demanding these things from their own government, and that hatstand Huhne is prepared to hold the entire nation to energy ransom to get his way, tells me two things:

1) This coalition is one major reality check away from welcome collapse.
2) Cameron better realise that his friends are very definitely electric. They switch their loyalty on and off at the drop of a headline.

These dudes have strayed way off the reservation territory the Tory-LibDum treaty had so fairly mapped-out for them.

Interesting times are back. And Dave, hey mate: 'friends' are always electric, especially political ones.

Badger Culling Doesn't Work

Not guilty!

Farmers today have described the suspension of the cull of Pembrokeshire's badger population, ostensibly to combat bovine TB, as a 'disaster for farming', according to this report. I'm sorry but I just do not for one moment buy that. The link between bovine TB and badgers is merely accepted wisdom based on, at best, anecdotal and/or coincidental data.

But even if you refute this strange farmers' reasoning with real evidence, or just subscribe to a different interpretation of existing-though-discrete data points, you are laughed at simply because its not the fashionable view. (Remind you of any other field of 'settled science'?). Furthermore, even if one member of the badger-cow TB camp could spurn the hysterical anti-badgerism, that person would still, without a shadow of a doubt, advocate the boneheaded position 'ah yes, maybe so, but better to be safe than sorry, right?'. Again, this reminds us eerily of another scientific cop out.

And sorry, but no, it isn't 'better to be safe than sorry' especially in this case because it is very likely that you are, in fact, still ignorant, more vulnerable having been lulled into a false sense of security by the massive badger bloodletting, and with one more innocent native British species of wildlife pushed onto the endangered list as a consequence of pitchforks and burning torches approach to countryside and agricultural management. A lose-lose-lose scenario. And it's pathetic. Why? Well, one South African (?) expert in the field, Martin Hancox, writes:

Accepted “Wisdom” after 35 years repetition is that badgers are the MAIN Reservoir of TB, and transmission is one-way badger to cow. The Emperor’s New Clothes, no-one apparently can “SEE” that thanks to the cattle TB crisis, the exact opposite is true: cattle are the MAIN reservoir and transmission is 99-100% cow to cow (and spillover to badgers and deer etc).

Cows give badgers TB!

The rest of his stout defence of Meles meles or Brother Brock is entertaining, quite compelling and well worth the read. Hats off must go not only to him but also to the Liberal Democrat AM, Peter Black, who has helped to halt the cull in Pembroke, and thus, quite possibly (since Pembroke was intended as some kind of trial), the rest of Wales, if not Britain. In addition, praise must go to those farmers who, while still strangely believing implicitly in the badger-bovine TB link, have the common sense and conservation-minded decency not to repeat the mistakes of the past.

You'd think it would have dawned on them why culls have failed for forty years when they have been tried wouldn't you? Well, it hasn't, so we'll have to spell it out for them: IT'S NOT THE BADGERS' FAULT, STUPID!

Not going to get through to them any time soon though, is it? It's very sad how destructive people can be in their ignorance, but too proud to stop themselves even when the truth is right there staring them in the face. Pity.

Who Will Fire David Laws?

Shaping up as a half-decent, expensively-educated, millionaire Chief Treasury Secretary though he might have been, I'm awfully sorry, but David Laws' political arse is grass. He can't argue the case for public spending cuts when he, apparently, has been pretty happy to sponge off the state on behalf of his partner for the longest time.

So the only question to me is: who will fire him? His party leader, Clegg, or his boss, the Prime Minister?

My view? Cameron must pull the trigger immediately because what Laws did particularly is just the sort of troughing, fiddling, pocket-lining, venal rule-bending Cameron has been condemning in principle and often for over a year. He fought the election on that platform, for heaven's sake!

Frankly, Laws fired himself the moment he chose not to reveal any of this as being a potential problem to his boss before he was appointed (I do not for one moment believe he didn't realise or didn't understand the rules - in fact it's surely hard to believe that of a double first Cambridge economist - and it won't wash regardless, even if he sticks to that lame line).

But who to replace him? Well, how about John Redwood? I think it's high time Cameron picked someone like him for the cabinet anyway. Besides, he's much smarter and more experienced even than Laws in many ways, and genuinely believes and can explain the Friedmanite solution to Labour's debt crisis that we now so desperately need. He'd also be a handy bulwark against the economic mixed brew that is Saint Vince and his presence would vastly help to shore up the Tory back benches. A win-win scenario potentially, then, both for the party and, in my humble, for the country.

Oh, and sucks to the bloody Lib Dums. They can either suck it up and stay in government, or they can destroy this blessed coalition in a fit of indefensible pique.

I just can't wait to see how Deputy Nick decides to handle this one.

Day 3: WithThe Best Will In The World

Yesterday was too irritating to blog about. Besides, I was busy with real, crust-earning life.

But it was an excruciating day politically. The vain Huhne's inability to be ministerial in any sense of the term, preferring his own agenda regarding what he seems to think is the minor issue of nuclear power over policy, thus undermining on Day 2 his own party leader's sworn coalition commitments, was just too much for me to take without crashing my car.

So I let it go, calmed down, made it home and stayed silent. That was healthy. And hey, I've been ecouraged to be a quiet supporter of this stupid marriage anyway, not least by the Conservative Party's central spin machine. "Give it a chance, Den, it's the new politics," they've said. Well, sure. I'm game.

Bullshit. Day 3 and while we have the hangoever of Simon Hughes' Tory-hating performance on Question Time to mull over, a new revolt - from Tory backbenchers, no less, not LibDums - over the 55% Cameron "stability" proposal (which smacks of Day 2 desperation to me), dominated the political news.

But that's been trumped now. Coalition Day 4 will be all about Saint Vinny Cable's (he's now Britain's Business Minister, laughably) desperate calls to Gordon Brown (remember him?) to discuss ways of keeping the "Tories out".

Sorry, fellow moderate Conservatives, but you should understand now why I am measuring this hopeless coalition's lifespan in terms of days rather than months or - and this bit of political confection amused me the most when I heard it from the two leaders involved - in years!

The best will in the world, which is what David Cameron has delivered - and he demonstrated that again, impressively, today in Scotland as his defining, wonderful feature as a genuine leader - cannot alter the potentially perverse motives and vile appetites of the partner you choose to bed.

The Liberal Democrats are appalling bedfellows, not because of the Tories, or even because of their natural woolliness, but because they have no idea of unity in the name of higher purpose, and absolutely no genuine party unity anyway.

Cameron has had a wonderful, heavyweight start, and so has the Tory part of his team. That bodes well.

In contrast, the LibDems look like total lightweights - and totally divided lightweights at that (where's the leadership from Clegg? Why hasn't he slapped Huhne down? Because he can't).

They are, in short, complete jokes - and Cameron, as his stock price rises as he pops up on the world's radar and is recognised as a sound man with a view who seems to be listening, has no need to take any shit from any of these idiots at home.

I feel an ultimatum is actually pretty imminent. It should be. "Hey, Clegg, Mr Deputy Prime Minister. Shape up or sod off."

Well, someone has to say it.

Things fall apart/The Centrists cannot hold...

He's Almost Gone...

Brown has almost gone and the deal with the Libdems is almost complete, according to Bareknuckle Boulton on Sky.

Me, I have grave misgivings about this whole shoddy arrangement. But at least Cameron will be where he should be, in Number 10 - elected - and at least the cuckoo Brown will finally be out. For good. That'll do for now.

==Update==
Sky has just reported Brown is going to resign tonight. I am very glad I kept that bottle of vintage bubbly on ice. Toasting his exit will be one, sweet moment of gladness.

==Update 2==
Oh dear, the lecturn's out again.

Good grief, do the dignified thing, Brown: just get in the Jag and go to the palace. We really do not want yet another self-justifying, self-pitying speech. We've had thirteen long years of those, all equally as bad, or worse, than the last one.

He shall not be missed.

We're Very Strange

The Liberal Democrats have decided to sing some random gospel song about being the stuff you get back when you hand over a fiver for a Mars Bar. Or maybe it's about offering to be your bus fare home. How sweet.

Either way, it might have been more honest for them to name the song "We're Very Strange" rather than the clarity-proof "We'll Be The Change". As bottom feeder-level campaigning goes, this piece really takes the planckton.



Beyond parody. I doubt we'll be hearing it again any time soon. Then again, these are loopy Lib Dems we're talking about...

Hat tip: Guido, et al.

Lib Dem FUBAR

I've been quite happy to be a spectator of the total train wreck that has been the Lib Dem conference over the past few days.

There are many, quite old expressions to describe their - and their laughable "leader" Clegg's - shocking performance. "FUBAR" is one of them. (If you really don't know what that means, email me at denver037@hotmail.com for a colourful definition).

Sometimes you have to let the total morons speak for themselves...

Clegg: Real REAL Change...Er...For Real

Extraordinary, baseless, dishonest and severely muddled.

When you've stopped laughing, spare a thought for those "fake", "phony" Conservatives who have been honest and brave enough to talk about the need to get public spending under control for nearly a year. Spare a thought for them, because they've been leading the debate, warning that government spending was unsustainable and that the UK was running a serious risk of defaulting. Clegg's record? Weak, dithering and confused.

Actually, it's never really been clear who is in charge of the Lib Dems since Labour's debt crisis began, Cable or Clegg. Now we know - it's Cable.

I suppose we can spare a thought for poor old Cleggy, though, too. I'm sure he does want "real" change (thanks to Barack Obama, David Cameron and just about everyone else for that line, eh Cleggy?), but how can his party offer such a thing when it is comprised of disaffected socialists, woolly-headed liberals and Lembit Opik? The answer, of course, is that it can't.

John Ward has said tonight that the Lib Dems should be targeting Labour voters, not Tory, in his own domain of Medway in Kent. I'm afraid I don't know much about the ins and outs of Kent politics, but he's absolutely dead right in a broader sense.

Clegg should choose one enemy and go after it. That enemy should be Labour and Brown, not Cameron and the Tories. His message from this little clip is bordering on unintelligible. The reason? No one knows what the Liberal Democrats are for. I certainly don't. And they don't either, otherwise they would have realised long ago that this is their big chance to become the official party of opposition to what will likely be a Conservative administration under a great deal of pressure. But they can't do that if they split the vote and help Brown/Labour.

The fact is, until the old, splittist, founding fathers (mothers?) of the SDP/Liberal/Alliance/Social and Liberal Democrats/Liberal Democrats are dead and buried, the tensions and contradictions that lie at the heart of this odd little party will persist.

So yes, spare a thought for Clegg. He has a very difficult job leading that mob.

Live Update
Clegg has just said "I held a sort of question and answer session at Glastonbury in a great big pink sort of tipi..."

He lost me there. Hopeless.