The London Squiggle

Hard to believe this thing is actually going to be built. Talk about the emperor's new clothes. And I think it's in pretty bloody bad taste, too, in the sense that Lakshmi Mittal is donating 1400 tonnes of foreign steel to build the damn thing. A further kick in the teeth for what's left of the Tata owned British steel industry, following the closure of Redcar. Oh, right, I'd almost forgotten: no one cares about that.

The "ArcelorMittal Orbit": foreign, £3 million quid and truly hideous.

Nice idea, crap choice, Boris. If it's going to be built, it should not be built in London. Bombay can have it - but they probably wouldn't want it. I very much doubt anybody would. Mittal, on the other hand, will be thrilled. All that publicity, just for a bit of cheap steel made by underpaid workers in India. Good for him (not for Britain).

London 2012 Pictograms: Huh?

Well, here they are in all their, erm, glory. I support the Olympics wholeheartedly - don't get me wrong - but what are the designers who come up with this nonsense on? After the seriously hideous main logo, launched a few years ago, you'd think they'd have opted for something a little more - well - useful? No, that's not quite the right word. Practical, then? Nope. I know what it is: intelligent. Yes, that definitely is it. Something intelligent. But no - we got this instead:
Have a closer look at, for instance, the one that I presume is supposed mean "water polo" (top right). It looks more like a sign for swimming pool discus - or something. But there is worse. The swimming and canoeing stuff looks like it's going to take place in tar pits and there are a few that are simply incomprehensible. Just what, exactly, is 8 down 1 across? Chase your own bicycle? Unicycling? Nine down and two in looks like something criminal, frankly (Olympic Handbag Snatching?). Oh dear. The more I look at them, the worse they get.

The prize has to go to 7 down 2 across which looks pretty sexual to me. I had no idea the Kamasutra had become an Olympic sport. I've already booked my ticket. It's a five night knockout tournament and they're holding it in Soho.

Hopeless.