Sunday, 1 November 2009

Oktober Stats

Statistics are amazing, aren't they? You can do anything with them. Especially if you have no idea what you're doing.

For example:

There were 1,829 unique visitors to this blog in October, an increase of 262 or 16.7% on the previous month. This represents year on year growth of 470.5% which means that next year I should have 8606.199 visitors in the same month, and the year after that, assuming the same rate of expansion, 40,492.164. In October 2012, no fewer than 190,517.871 will drop by.

Once again, the ambitious targets I've set in my Five Year Plan to dominate the entire blogosphere, nay the world, have been hit perfectly. In October 2014 an army of visitors numbering 4,298,559.469 will come to this blog. Soon after that I'll finally be bigger than YouTube. Google will be next.

And tractor production continues to break all records, too.

Now I think I know how the treasury gets away with it "year on year". At this rate by the time of the Olympics I'll be on the telly as much as Sir Iain Dale and own as many houses as Guido.

I'd just like to say, therefore, before I become too famous, that I am very grateful to my regulars for reading my nonsense and leaving the odd comment, which I always enjoy. I'll remember you when I rule the world.

You're all equally mad so you deserve a place in my new government.


  1. Wow with stats like that you must surely be the No 1 Welsh blogger as most sheep can't read never mind write :-)

  2. Stats aren't everything....not that I'm bitter of course...the bastard! :p

  3. I thought this was going to be pure statporn - instead, it's hilarious!

  4. Ollie C: quite so. Pass the mint sauce.

    UB: I think you'll find these 'stats' of mine might have been massaged a little bit in the extrapolations. I used the government approved methodology, see. You know, the same sort the Treasury used to calculate that Britain will see 18.4% Q4 GDP growth, a budget surplus by January and full employment by next Tuesday.

  5. Gigits: High praise from you, bro :)


Any thoughts?